


It Is Known

by AVirtoMusae



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cracky, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4047421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVirtoMusae/pseuds/AVirtoMusae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ned Stark sends a letter to root out the most suspicious people of King's Landing. The five people whose plans it foils and the one whose plans it advances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Is Known

In the North, horror stories were told about the South: it was full of dishonor, treason, and general lack of anything valued up North. All in all, from what little Ned Stark had seen of it when he’d come south before and during Robert’s Rebellion, the South seemed to live up to its infamy. That being said, Ned really did not want to deal with being Hand of the King, even to Robert. If the South were bad, then these men he would be serving among would be the worst of these southern snakes.

Ned sighed, rubbing his temples, before rising to his feet and ambling over to the window. The view of King’s Landing was not a pleasant sight, he reckoned. He sighed again, more heavily this time.

He watched as a wheelhouse was pulled away from the Red Keep towards Flea Bottom. The wheelhouse itself was ostentatious even by the standards of the court, but compared to the poverty in Flea Bottom, it was positively garish. The wealth of the owner was so glaringly obvious, one would have to be blind not to see it.

And it was then that Eddard Stark, Warden of the North, Lord of Winterfell, and Hand of the King, was struck by utter brilliance. If he sent a letter to the most suspicious people in King’s Landing, telling them that all their secrets had been discovered and they would be pardoned if they confessed their crimes to the king, then all the underhand dealings of the small council would be eliminated.

He smiled in relief, brushing back a strand of his dark, oily hair behind his ear. He would not be forced to deal with the slime of the south. Besides, everyone else would have to be ruled by his morals now.

The South would be a much better place now. Mentally, he made a list of people he should send this hypothetical letter to: _Petyr Baelish, Cersei Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Grand Maester Pycelle, Lord Varys, Renly Baratheon_ . . . . Ned frowned at that. Renly looked so much like Robert. After a moment, Ned crossed the youngest Baratheon brother off his mental list. As if anyone so similar in appearance to Robert would be able to commit treason and be as slimy as all the others. But then again, he reasoned, Robert had started a rebellion. He added Renly back onto the list.

Ned walked over to his desk and commenced writing.

❆

Petyr Baelish glanced at the note in his hands, his face pale. _All your vile acts are known and your life may be spared if you beg mercy of the king_? That hardly seemed pleasant. He grimaced. He didn’t recognize the handwriting -- a rare thing indeed -- and if it were fake, confessing would be a dangerous thing.

He thought for a second about what he would have to confess to before determining that he had done a grand total of nothing that he could technically be arrested for. All of his exploits had been done indirectly with his manipulating other people to do his dirty work. Even killing Jon Arryn was technically not his fault.

_Technically._

Technically was definitely a favored word.

Logically, however, he knew that if people found out he encouraged heinous acts he would lose much of the favor he’d earned at court.

And that was what balanced him on the edge of the knife. Make the wrong choice and he would fall off the side and plummet so far the moon door would seem a mere pothole. He needed to make a choice rather quickly, it would seem.

He decided rather quickly that being on the safe side was a rather resplendent idea. He informed King Robert I Baratheon that he would be taking a leave of absence in the Eyrie for a while.

❆

Cersei Lannister blinked in confusion at the letter in her hands before tossing it into the fireplace. _This is really not good,_ she thought, her lips pursed. She tapped her fingers against the desk, evaluating exactly what she should do.

The letter threatened exactly what she feared most: punish her secrets. If her secrets were known, though, Cersei wondered why the letter was not any more specific. But if she were to be exposed, she didn’t want to think about what would happen to her children, her precious, precious children.

So if the letter promised safety if only it were admitted, well, Cersei Lannister would take that gambit. She would not keep her secret any longer because this was her only chance to let her children’s be Jaime’s properly, to stop living a lie every day of her life.

A day later, she found herself in her husband’s private chambers pacing irritably when she said, “I’ve not been faithful to you, and your children are not yours. I was told you’d be merciful if I told you.”

Cersei was thrown into Black Cells later that day, and her children in “an act of mercy” were sent away to Casterly Rock to live with Tywin Lannister. Locked in the Black Cells, all alone, Cersei didn’t think that that was very merciful. She wouldn’t cry, she told herself as tears dripped down her cheeks. She wouldn’t cry.

Her tears weren’t for herself the next day as Ilyn Payne’s axe hit her neck and her head went rolling off the dais.

❆

Jaime Lannister could not claim an ounce of excitement at the letter in his hands. He sincerely doubted that he would be spared even if he confessed his incest with Cersei and pushing Bran off a tower and every other crime he’d ever committed. He’d be better off taking the Black and being done with it. At least his head wouldn’t be parted from his shoulders any time soon even if the Wall were bloody frozen and useless to boot.

He was just about to inform the King of his decision when he heard what happened to Cersei and his children. Suddenly his mind wasn’t so made up after all. That afternoon, he decided to go rescue Cersei from the Black Cells.

He did a wonderful job with his rescue. He actually got Cersei out of her chains and the Black Cells before any sort of alarm was raised. But then, they were surrounded by too many guards for even him to fight off. They were taken back to the Black Cells, and Jaime was tormented by his failure when he heard Cersei’s muffled sobs.

To his surprise, his head didn’t go tumbling after his sister and lover’s. Instead, the King told him that he was being sent to the Wall as a special favor to Tywin Lannister. Jaime didn’t fail to see the irony in this.

❆

Grand Maester Pycelle glance down at the letter in his hands, quite alarmed. This was not good, he thought stupidly, only able to think the obvious in his shock. He blinked. He tried to comprehend exactly what it would mean if he were caught here in King’s Landing.

He quickly decided that that was not a happy outcome for him and shooed the whores away from his bed. This was very, very, very not good, he decided. He scratched his head, trying to figure out the most favorable outcome for him -- living, obviously. He rather enjoyed living.

Then the idea struck him (and generally surprised him when it did, seeing as it was generally a notable occasion when he was struck by one). He would return to Casterly Rock and cower behind Tywin Lannister. He was spying for the man. Clearly Tywin Lannister would protect him.

He packed all his belongings and had them sent to Casterly Rock ahead of him. He then went down and had his wheelhouse prepared for his long journey, very smug about his very bright idea.

Unfortunately for Grand Maester Pycelle, Tywin Lannister was as nice as he seemed to think, for he’d barely seen the man before he was taken to the dungeon. His execution was the next day, and his head was sent all the way back to King’s Landing while his belongings enriched the Lannisters’ coffers.

❆

Lord Varys tittered as he read the letter. He’d risen high in the world under this king and the last. But he had more important work -- namely, helping those poor Targaryen children. They’d surely help him since he had Illyrio Mopatis to vouch for him as well as himself. He had very few hesitations about the ship he took to Essos. In fact, his only regret was that he hadn’t done more spying in person, but he had his little birds for that, didn’t he?

❆

Renly Baratheon wasn’t phased by the letter in the least. There wasn’t actually any consequential treason he’d been part of, after all, except for trying to find Robert a better wife. Loras, the Knight of the Flowers, however, was not so unalarmed. “Shouldn’t you be a bit more worried?” Loras asked his lover dubiously.

“Nope,” Renly informed him with a smirk. “This will all work in our favor, luv.” He pressed a kiss on Loras’s lips. “You’ll see. Oh, and write for your sister to come to King’s Landing, would you?”

Loras just nodded as if he properly believed Renly.

Later, Renly requested a private audience with his eldest brother. “You’re not admitting treason or running away on me, are you?” Robert growled upon seeing him.

Renly shrugged. “I doubt you’d object _that_ strongly to a young, stunning, _agreeable_ wife that you'd call it treason,” he joked, not even a bit worried.

Robert just laughed. “Okay.

“I’ve called her to court,” Renly added, smiling. This was going as well as he’d planned.

“Alright. Good,” Robert agreed.

“But I would like to run off to Essos so I can marry Ser Loras,” he declared.

Robert gave him a strange look at that. “Nah, don’t bother. You might as well just marry him here and keep your lordship.”

Renly smiled and thanked him as if he hadn’t known that would happen the entire time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, not exactly something to be taken seriously, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Any comments and feedback would be appreciated.
>
>>   
> A Virto Musae  
> By the Virtue of the Muse


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